Preparing and Remembering

So, it might be a bit premature, but the other day I decided to get out and clean/organize my old 0-3 month clothing, diaper clothes, wash clothes, receiving blankets, infant car seat cover, etc. I used these same items only a year ago but it strangely seems so much longer than that. The tiny-ness of the clothing are extremely intimidating to me and they keenly remind me that I had no idea what I was doing 15 months ago.

Constantine was a VERY crabby baby and the doctor told me that all I could do was wait it out until his 3rd month. There were MANY moments when Constantine and I would both be crying on the couch in the family room at any time of day. I'd sob while nursing him in the middle of the night wondering if this was what motherhood would be like for the rest of my life. If he wasn't eating or sleeping he was crying.

I took him shopping once in those early months to look for a new pair of jeans for my very chubby body. Already stressed by his fussing, I ran through those department store aisles with him in his stroller carelessly picking unflattering jeans to try on in the dressing room. Once in the dressing room his crying started to esculate to a shrieking volume while trying on just my second pair. Worried that we were bothering others in the surrounding stalls I nervously looked for his formula, bottle and water. I was going at such a supernatural speed that the container of formula powder teetered between my fingers, flipped through the air and came showering down upon Constantine and I in a powdery mess. He was covered from his head to his knees. I swear all I could see were his blinking eyes. I, myself, looked like Casper the Ghost. Seconds later I slipped to the ground in the powder which was also all over the floor. I just sat there, now a sweaty mess, shaking my sticky face in my sticky hands while Constantine continued to scream. The place looked like an 80s cocaine party gone bad by the time we left that dressing room. And let me tell ya', we got the hell out of there so fast...

Anywho, those first three months felt like 3 years to me! But like magic, and just as the doctor said, Constantine woke up one day around 12 weeks... a happy, smiley baby (gasp!). I couldn’t believe it! Things were, once again, right with the world.

I wonder... will this one be a girl? Have brown hair? Maybe blue eyes? Be past due? Or dare I ask, have a sweet disposition like his/her cousin, Rose? We shall see. I simply can hardly wait these next 12 weeks to meet #2.



Constantine's horizontally challenged feet will not be much bigger than his brother or sister's.